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Tim Ferriss · 2022-09-08 · 1h 34m

Dr. Gabor Maté — The Myth of Normal

Trauma physician Gabor Maté explains how a sick culture disconnects us from ourselves, and why healing means reconnecting.

Dr. Gabor Maté — The Myth of Normal
The guest

Dr. Gabor Maté — Renowned physician and best-selling author on addiction, stress, and childhood development; author of The Myth of Normal, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, and When the Body Says No.

The gist

Tim Ferriss interviews Dr. Gabor Maté about his book The Myth of Normal, exploring how trauma becomes embedded in the brain and body and silently shapes our relationships, health, and behavior. Maté shares deeply personal stories, including a recent plant ceremony with Indigenous Canadians and an ayahuasca retreat in Peru where shamans identified an early-childhood 'scare' rooted in being separated from his mother as an infant in Hungary. The conversation examines healthy anger versus suppressed rage, the conflict between attachment and authenticity, and why our culture treats normal responses to abnormal conditions as disease. They discuss parenting that addresses emotional needs rather than suppressing behavior, trauma work in prisons, and the inadequacy of a punitive justice system. The episode closes with a live exercise where Maté helps Tim listen for his own 'small still voice' and an authentic calling.

Big reveals

  • At an ayahuasca retreat in Peru, shamans 'fired' Maté from his own retreat, saying his dark, dense energy was so heavy it interfered with their chants for everyone else.
  • The shamans intuited that Maté had experienced a 'big scare' when very small and assigned one healer to work with him alone over five private ceremonies.
  • Maté recounts going into a rage over a minor text from his wife at the airport, tracing it directly to being given away by his mother as a one-year-old infant.
  • Maté publicly acknowledges he was sexually abused as a child, explaining how suppressing the resulting rage became a survival mechanism.
  • Maté argues no one has ever discovered a gene or group of genes that causes any mental health condition; what is inherited is sensitivity, not disease.
  • Describing prison enneagram work with men who have killed, Maté says these 'killers' are among the loveliest people, deeply traumatized sensitive kids nobody ever paid attention to.
  • In a live exercise, Maté helps Tim surface his authentic calling, which Tim names as 'animal communication' and 'pure knowing.'

Things worth remembering

  • Maté's works have been published internationally in nearly 30 languages.
  • The Myth of Normal took about 10 years of research and a year longer to write than Maté expected.
  • At the Peru retreat there were 24 participants, all health professionals (doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists).
  • Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp identified mammalian brain systems including CARE, GRIEF/PANIC, FEAR, LUST, SEEKING, PLAY, and RAGE.
  • Maté cites Buddhist teacher Tara Brach's RAIN method: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture.
  • Loneliness has doubled in the last 30 years; Britain appointed a Minister of Loneliness, and loneliness is reportedly as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • In Canada, Indigenous people are 5% of the population but 30% of the jail population, and Indigenous women are 50% of the female jail population.
  • Olympian Clara Hughes, the first to win medals at both Summer and Winter Olympics, walks roughly from northern Canada to Mexico for six months each year to reconnect with herself.
  • While writing the book, Maté experienced panic and saw a therapist weekly for several months mid-project.
  • A documentary about Maté's work, The Wisdom of Trauma, features Fritzi Horstman doing trauma work with high-level offenders in a prison yard.

Recommended in this episode

Books, products and media the guest or host genuinely endorsed here — with the buy link.

Affiliate link — we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

Guest’s ownBook

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction

Gabor Maté

“dr mate has written several best-selling books including the award-winning in the realm of hungry ghosts i highly recommend subtitle close encounters with addiction” — Tim Ferriss 00:00:31
Find it on Amazon
Guest’s ownBook

When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection

Gabor Maté

“when the body says no exploring the stressed disease connection and scattered how attention deficit disorder” — Tim Ferriss 00:00:31
Find it on Amazon
Guest’s ownBook

Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It

Gabor Maté

“scattered how attention deficit disorder originates and what you can do about it” — Tim Ferriss 00:00:31
Find it on Amazon
Guest’s ownBook

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld (inferred)

“he has also co-authored hold on to your kids why parents need to matter more than peers his works have been published internationally in nearly 30 languages” — Tim Ferriss 00:01:02
Find it on Amazon
Guest’s ownBook

The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté (inferred)

“his new book is the myth of normal subtitle trauma illness and healing in a toxic culture gabor welcome back to the show” — Tim Ferriss 00:01:02
Find it on Amazon
RecommendedBook

Radical Acceptance

Tara Brach

“read this book and recommended it to me and i found it tremendously tremendously helpful and it may be time for me to revisit it” — Tim Ferriss 00:35:10
Find it on Amazon
RecommendedMedia

The Work

“there's a documentary i saw a long time ago called the work it came out in 2017 at the very least everybody should watch the trailer” — Tim Ferriss 01:05:54
Find it on Amazon
Guest’s ownMedia

The Wisdom of Trauma

“there's a film made about my work called the wisdom of trauma that actually people can watch online and there's a scene in it” — Gabor Maté 01:07:59
Find it on Amazon
Guest’s ownBook

Hello Again: A Fresh Start for Adult Children and Their Parents

Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté (inferred)

“the next book dialogue writing is called hello again a fresh start for adult children and their parents maybe in a few years when that's done” — Gabor Maté 01:22:04
Find it on Amazon