Susan Bratton — A world-renowned intimacy and sexual biohacking expert and best-selling author of 30+ books and programs. A former Silicon Valley tech executive, she has spent two decades teaching 'heart-connected' passionate lovemaking techniques to millions.
The gist
Susan Bratton shares the origin of her career, recounting how a sexless 12-year marriage and her husband's affair pushed the couple into sex workshops and therapy that rebuilt their intimacy. She explains the physiology of female arousal, the role of erectile tissue in the vulva, and why women need 20-30 minutes of engorgement before intercourse. The conversation works through real listener problems (lost intimacy, premature ejaculation, body image, routine, dead bedrooms) with concrete fixes: small offers, holding, Yoni massage, sex toys, and 'erotic play dates.' She frames sex as a lifelong, learnable skill where safety plus novelty equals desire, and demonstrates a range of intimacy products on-camera.
Big reveals
- Reveals her marriage was platonic for years and she never had an orgasm from intercourse for over a decade.
- Discloses childhood sexual trauma and explains how dissociation during intimacy affected her.
- Confronts that her husband Tim had an affair during their sexless marriage, which she reframes as him trying to stay married.
- Reveals she and Tim opened their marriage and have been non-monogamous for 20+ of their 33 years, now practicing 'relationship anarchy.'
- Mentions she currently has a boyfriend and that she, Tim and him make love together as a threesome.
- Describes 'stepping off' into an hour-long expanded orgasm as feeling like touching God/Source.
- Discloses she is Chief Advocacy Officer for Basis DX STI testing as she urges testing before any new sexual contact.
Things worth remembering
- Claims there are over 20 kinds of orgasms, including clitoral, vaginal, anal, breast, nipple and throat orgasms.
- States 'fear is the enemy of pleasure' and that lack of knowledge creates the fear that blocks arousal.
- The vulva contains the same amount of erectile tissue as the penis, just arranged internally.
- It takes a woman about 20 minutes to achieve a full 'clitoral erection,' versus a minute or two for a man.
- One in four men of all ages experiences premature ejaculation or performance anxiety.
- Cites a study sampling ~340 porn clips that found 96% were degrading to women in some way.
- Distinguishes libido (health), desire (how you feel about yourself) and arousal (physical readiness) as three different things.
- Offers the formula 'safety plus variety (novelty) equals desire,' credited to Dossie Easton.
- Holding and being held generates oxytocin, which counteracts the cortisol of daily stress.
- The DOAC team measures studio CO2 because cognitive performance dips above 1,000 parts per million.
Recommended in this episode
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Sexual Soulmates
Susan Bratton
“one of my most popular books is a book called um sexual soulmates because sexual soulmates are not out there waiting for you you cocreate your connection” — Susan Bratton 01:08:44Find it on Amazon
Revive Her Drive
Susan Bratton
“I have one of the programs that I wrote really early on is a program called revive her drive and it's a sneaky little name” — Susan Bratton 00:16:17Find it on Amazon
Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men
Jim Benson (published by Susan Bratton)
“I have been doing is working with Jim Benson I published his program called multi-orgasmic lover for men” — Susan Bratton 01:02:24Find it on Amazon
Basis DX (STI test kits)
Basis DX
“this is Basis DX now I have to say uh full disclosure in this particular thing I'm on their I'm their Chief advocacy officer” — Susan Bratton 01:41:03Find it on Amazon