Romesh Ranganathan: There's A Dark Voice In My Head That I've Learnt To Control | E220

Romesh Ranganathan tells Steven Bartlett how his comfortable middle-class childhood collapsed within 12-18 months when his father lost his job, cheated on his mother, went bankrupt and was imprisoned, leaving the family in a bed and breakfast. He describes a relentless, self-critical inner voice he has battled since his teens, including suicidal thoughts in his early twenties, and the coping mechanisms (presence, perspective, sleep, exercise) he uses to manage it. He traces his path from reluctant teacher to full-time comedian, crediting mentor Shawn Walsh and the addictive thrill of live stand-up. He reflects on reconciling with his late father, his mother's heroism, and a philosophy of focusing on what you can control rather than distant goals.

• Over roughly 12-18 months Romesh's family went from a comfortable life with a nice house and car to chaos when his father lost his job, ran into financial disarray, cheated and was imprisoned.
  00:09:22
• Romesh, around 11 or 12, was sent by his mother to a woman's house to find his father and learned that his dad had been arrested two days earlier and was jailed for two years.
  00:11:25
• Romesh describes a horrific inner voice he has lived with as long as he can remember, telling him he is a fraud and not good enough.
  00:20:41
• In his late teens and early twenties Romesh regularly thought about and fantasized about taking his own life.
  00:34:40
• Three days before he was due to leave teaching to pursue comedy, his father died suddenly of a heart attack, leaving behind tangled, house-of-cards finances.
  00:51:40
• Mentor Shawn Walsh offered to lend Romesh money for a car and gave him writing and TV work that led to Live at the Apollo, which paid Romesh's bills for six months.
  01:05:06
• On his father's 60th birthday, Romesh wrote in a card that his dad was a great father he looked up to, and his father, disbelieving, quietly asked, 'Do you honestly mean that?'
  00:57:21

• Romesh did stand-up for the first time at age eight, winning a talent competition at a Pontins holiday camp by beating a kid playing a kazoo.
  00:04:09
• His love of comedy was sparked by discovering Eddie Murphy films like Beverly Hills Cop and the special Raw as a child.
  00:03:07
• To hide his poverty, Romesh once told a girl his family was 'between carpets' to explain the bare wooden floors.
  00:16:33
• School accountants turned up to his private-school lessons with invoices because his parents were in such arrears; he was pulled out of school mid-term.
  00:13:29
• A judge at the 'So You Think You're Funny' competition told Romesh he looked like he was going to be a comedian, which spurred him to pursue it seriously.
  00:48:34
• His old school compiled a comprehensive dossier of his Edinburgh Fringe appearances after he lied about missing A-level results day.
  00:50:38
• His decision to first see a therapist at university was triggered by overreacting to a lodger moving his hi-fi stereo equipment.
  00:25:21
• Romesh's mother once asked him to give two tour tickets to an insurance employee who upgraded her courtesy car.
  01:01:30
• He compares his philosophy to Sir David Brailsford telling the British cycling team to stop thinking about the podium and focus on being 1% better.
  01:17:34

Books, products and media the guest or host genuinely endorsed here — with the buy link.

Affiliate link — we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you.