The Sex Psychologist: We're Not Having Enough Sex! Fat Makes You Attractive! Dr Bill Von Hippel

Von Hippel argues that the core mistake of modern, wealthy, urban, educated humans is over-weighting autonomy (doing what I want now) at the expense of connection, which is steadily making us less happy despite vastly better living conditions. He draws on Hadza hunter-gatherers, who are roughly twice as happy as Westerners, to show how interdependence and balance drive wellbeing. The conversation ranges across mate selection and honest signals of quality, the dating-app and education mismatch between men and women, declining sex and fertility rates, pornography, religion, robot nannies, and power. He shares unpublished WHOOP findings on exercise, alcohol, and sleep. He closes with five practical levers for happiness: family, connection, pets, idle in-person conversation, and pursuing goals with others.

• Over 90% of Hadza hunter-gatherers report being happy versus about 50% of Westerners, despite the Hadza burying nearly half their children and having no savings.
  00:09:47
• Claims men carrying more 'gay genes' while still straight have MORE sexual partners, framing a little bit gay as evolutionarily attractive.
  00:30:50
• Defends robot nannies, arguing a perfect robot caregiver would beat the abusive or absent human parenting already happening.
  00:49:58
• Says outright he believes life is devoid of meaning, while conceding people who search for meaning become happier.
  01:08:33
• Explains chimps' huge testicles evolved to 'wash out' a rival male's sperm, evidence humans are serial monogamists who cheat.
  01:21:24
• Shares unpublished WHOOP data: exercise amplifies BOTH good and bad behaviors, so drinking hits your biomarkers harder on days you worked out.
  01:41:33
• Hot-off-the-press WHOOP finding that men sleep about 20 minutes less than women and get more recovery per hour of sleep.
  01:46:13
• Asked to save humanity with one wish, chooses 'perfect justice' delivered in real time for harm done to others.
  01:54:26

• In 1850 only 1 in 100 Americans lived alone; today it is 1 in 7.
  00:07:11
• 2007 was the year humanity crossed over to more than 50% of people living in cities.
  00:13:53
• City dwellers in the US are about 25% wealthier than country dwellers, yet country people report being happier.
  00:14:24
• Money keeps increasing happiness past $600,000 a year, well beyond the old $100,000 ceiling, but the Easterlin Paradox means a richer society as a whole is no happier.
  00:17:28
• Women's hip-to-waist ratio (tied to fertility) stays constant across Playboy models from the 1950s on, even as their weight changed dramatically.
  00:26:12
• Around 70% of women say they want a partner who earns equal or more, but with ~60/40 female-to-male college graduation there aren't enough educated men.
  00:35:32
• On dating apps, roughly 20% of men get 80% of the swipes, while ~80% of women get swiped but not by the men they want.
  00:36:04
• Share of 18-25 year olds who had sex in the past year fell from about 80% to 60-70% while porn consumption roughly tripled.
  00:42:46
• Half of East Asia and half of Western Europe are projected to shrink to roughly half their size by 2100; Japan is already demolishing empty houses.
  00:46:54
• People who attend church regularly are about twice as likely to be happy, with the effect strongest among the rich (who otherwise socialize least).
  01:05:25

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